Sometimes The Only Difference Between Mammahood Nights And Days Is the Dark

Posted on Nov 16 2012 - 10:57am by megganmamma

Sweet, uniterrupted, blissful sleep …

Again, (and this probably won’t be the last time you hear me say this), I have no idea what was going on or what caused it, but this is what happened…

On Thursday night I got home at 9pm after attending my weekly session of yoga, sudarshan kriya and meditation, my weekly prana hit.   Joshi was fast asleep.   Simon and him had been for a walk while I was out and he’d fallen asleep in the baby carrier.   Anyway, shortly after I got home Joshi woke, and after a feed went straight back to sleep.   That’s usually what happens a few times through the night – he wakes for a feed, sometimes goes to the potty for a really big wee, and then straight back to sleep.  It’s very effortless for the most part.

But be warned all mammas-to-be: Never think for a moment that how things are for you and your baby is how they’re going to be.   If things are going well for you be sure to keep that smug look off your face coz you just never know how long it’s going to last.   I once heard a great quote.  It said, “The only constant is change,” and for sure … things changed for us that night.

At 11pm I went to bed.   I’d have gone to bed earlier, but was fully of energy after kriya.   Within 30 minutes Joshi woke and had a feed.   He had such a big feed that when I lay him down to sleep I thought, “fabulous … he’s going to sleep solidly for at least 4 hours after a feed like that.”   Less than one hour later – yes, you heard me … LESS THAN ONE HOUR LATER Joshi wakes.   What?!  What happened to my 4 solid, sweet, uninterrupted, blissful hours of sleep?!   And then it began … Joshi sat up in bed with a really big smile on his face, looking at me with those rather mischievous “Hey-mom! Wanna-play?!” eyes.  “No darling, it’s sleepy time.”   I gently lay him back down. Up he popped.  Like a little Jack-in-the-box, the more I lay him down the more he popped back up.

For the next 2 hours and 15 minutes Joshi and I were up.   I held him, comforted him, fed him, sat on the exercise ball and gently bounced him, sang to him, gave him some weleda teething powder (no, they’re not paying me to say that), wondered where the heck his amber teething necklace has got to and then, rather suddenly, moved into a new mode of being.   I thought “Ok, who cares if we don’t sleep tonight.”   Ahhh, that precious moment of surrender when your mind stops fighting the situation, releases all resistance to it and moves into a state of sweet acceptance.   Bliss.

So I put on the ergo baby carrier (affiliate link), popped him in it and decided to do some housework (as you do at 2.30am).   I’ve gotta say, I just love those baby carriers.  I don’t know what I’d do without one.  When I’m carrying him in it it feels as though I’m carrying at least half the weight that he is.  And I can get on with doing things while still having him really close to me.   I cleaned the kitchen, folded some laundry, arranged the fresh lavender I’d picked in a vase and thought to myself, “sometimes the only difference between mammahood nights and days is the dark.”

Eventually, at 2.45am, Joshi’s little eyes closed and his mamma was able to go back to sleep.   Ahhhhhhhh … sweet, uninterrupted, blissful sleep (for a whole 2.5 hours)!

12 Comments so far. Feel free to join this conversation.

  1. katesurfs November 16, 2012 at 11:09 am -

    Oh, who needs to sleep? Sleeping is for when you’re dead! I was lucky, I think I only had about one or two nights ever when Margo was up and just wanted to play. The rest, were like you said, only a couple wakes for potty and boobs. And, of course, went through the phase of waking every hour or so.. sigh… it will all change very soon again! Gosh, Goldie is sleeping so well at night, I just wonder when that will change too!

    • megganmamma November 19, 2012 at 4:03 pm -

      Kate, I recently heard one mum suggesting that young babies who sleep through the night often include those babies who’s parents ongoingly don’t responded to their baby’s toilet needs. Then, because the mum/dad either does what they can to get them back to sleep or leaves them to cry themself back to sleep without taking them to the potty to empty their bladder, the baby gets used to not being responded to when they wake and cry in the night. Then what happens is that eventually the baby gives up crying when they wake to go to the loo and just wake quietly, pee in their pants quitely and go back to sleep. Have you heard about this?

      • katesurfs November 19, 2012 at 8:15 pm -

        I haven’t heard of this, but I’m sure it’s true. When Margo was about 6 months old, my grandmother was shocked to hear that she wasn’t sleeping 12 hours through the night! TWELVE HOURS! All of her kids did…. What 6 month old baby can hold their wee 12 hours through the night? What choice would a baby have but to pee in their nappy and after a while, they wouldn’t even bother waking much at all. It’s no wonder that so many children, while maybe potty trained during the day, have bed wetting incidents until they are 5 or 6 or older… Poor things, and it’s not like every parent knows to do EC either.

        I took Margo out of nappies at night at 14 months, I’ve probably told you a few times. Since then, it’s been a year and a half, I would say that she’s wet the bed possibly 4 or 5 times, and those incidences were all before she turned two. And, they weren’t even full wees, just partial ones and she would wake me up and tell me that she had to go and finish the rest on the potty. She occasionally does a little squirt in her undies during the day if she gets busy and it’s been hours since she’s gone. But, then, she runs to the toilet and finishes (she can take herself now, yay). ONCE she totally weed in her pants! It was so funny, it was a few weeks ago and she was standing on the chair in the kitchen in her undies helping me cook. She looked at me and said, ‘I have to wee!’ I think she was just testing it out to see what it was like. She’s seen so many kids have accidents and kids her age wearing nappies and her little sister wearing nappies, etc. I seriously think she wanted to see what it felt like! It was so funny, she did not like it one bit and got a little upset. I didn’t react at all. I just said, ‘Ok… you just did a wee… let’s clean it up!’.
        Phew, what a long winded response!

        • megganmamma January 5, 2013 at 9:19 pm -

          Yes, it’s amazing, this ECing thing – for months now Joshi has been dry through the night. He wakes between 2 and 6 times a night and when we wakes I put him on the potty straight away. Most of the time he does these great big, 1cm deep wees. It’s so easy. And then, when he’s had a feed, I then lie him down again, (between our pillows), empty the potty in the bathroom, crawl back into bed, turn off the light and go back to sleep. The whole process takes between 5 and 10 minutes. It’s great. But daytime ECing is another story – I miss many of the wees and he’s often not happy about being put on the potty. I guess I’m probably missing the wees that I miss because at one stage I decided to put him on the potty less often because he was getting upset by it. Any tips of catching daytime wees?

          • katesurfs January 5, 2013 at 9:55 pm -

            i would just keep doing what you’re doing. They all go through phases. I also don’t push the potty if they’re loudly complaining about it. At 9 months Margo was the opposite, she wouldn’t let me take her at night, would howl and arch her back and scream, then I would put the nappy back on and she would go a while later. Daytime at that point was good. But, don’t worry, most EC babies are mostly daytime potty trained by the time they can walk (ok, Joshi is probably going to walk soon, so let’s put it at 12 months-ish). Just stay consistent in your efforts 🙂

          • megganmamma January 5, 2013 at 10:03 pm -

            That’s encouraging. Thanks. It’s funny coz I thought that night time ECing would be so hard and so I postphoned doing it and only daytime EC’d for the first few months. I feel that I could have him in training pants during the night now. Actually, I should make that switch coz it would be a whole lot easier getting it on and off through the night time wakes! Very occassionally he has a wet nappy in the night … typically when I’ve been so tired that I’ve not heard him. I could confidently say that that happens once every 6 weeks or so.

          • katesurfs January 5, 2013 at 10:10 pm -

            Hmmm! Funny, isn’t it? A friend of mine is postponing EC until she says her baby can sit. I thought that was a funny milestone to put on ECing, but well, we all know our babies best! That’s how Margo came out of nappies… one day I realised that I hadn’t changed a wet nappy in ages, and off they came! You can put down a water proof thing under the mattress where he sleeps too? I just use a fleece blanket folded up in quarters. It’s slightly waterproof, and anyway, if they do have the occasional accident (and we have a waterproof mattress protector), it’s a good excuse for me to wash the sheets!

          • megganmamma January 5, 2013 at 10:21 pm -

            A friend of mine is postphoning it till her baby’s neck is strong. That didn’t matter to us because we just held Joshi with his back against our chest, which supported his head, but she says that her baby cries when she holds him in that position. What do you think could help her?

          • katesurfs January 5, 2013 at 10:43 pm -

            I’ve heard that some babies cry when the parent tried to take them. I don’t know what it could be,,, seems like it could be a combination. Maybe, baby doesn’t have to go, or maybe the mother is tense and the baby senses it, or maybe it’s just not the right time? How old is the baby? Would love to find out how more young babies do EC… I’ve only seen it from my girls, who both did it pretty much from birth, it might be different if you hold off a while and try to start a little later.

          • megganmamma January 5, 2013 at 10:59 pm -

            By the way, did you ever try ECing and feed Margo simultaneously during the night time wakes when she used to arch her back and scream?

            Not exactly sure how old the baby is … I think just a few months old now, 3? And yes, I think they cry when they don’t need it. One mum I heard of would count to 5 when her kids were upset on the potty so that they’d have an idea of it not being a long, drawnout process. Quite a good idea.

            I’ve literally just put Joshi in training pants right now, when he woke for the potty. I’m so happy. He looks so so so much more comfortable. Wow, he’s officially out of night time nappies before his 9 month birthday. I could have done this months ago, but it’s funny how easily we get into habits – it just became a habit for me- using the cloth nappies. Der! And yay!!

          • katesurfs January 7, 2013 at 9:30 pm -

            Yay!!!! Seeeeee!!! I told you he would be out of nappies sooner than you could imagine! It’s funny that it’s the nighttime ECing that works the best! Hooray! Yeah, if Goldie arches her back, or cries (she even cries right before I take her nappy off if she doesn’t have to go), I don’t even waste my time. I don’t want to torture her and anyway… she does have a nappy on. However, if we’re about to go out, I do make sure that she goes (usually), so even if she gives the triple chin of indignation, I sometimes hold her over the sink, just a little bit longer if I really think she has to go… and usually she does 🙂